It's 6pm on a Sunday night and I'm all 'Mummed Out.' That is I've just about had enough of the full-on minute-by-minute attention my child needs and I'd quite like him to go back to school thank you.
It's not that this weekend has been particularly difficult, and he's actually being quite affectionate at the moment. It's just that I get fed up with the fact that every time we have a lovely outing it always ends in a meltdown.
We went for a walk today and fed the ducks, with friends and their two kids. Then on to the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet which is always a hit with kids because a) they don't have to wait for their food and b) they can choose what they eat and fill their plates as often as they like.
He actually behaved really well but just before we left I took him to the toilet and he shut his finger in the door. Not unreasonably he screamed the place down. So we tried to distract him with a trip to the arcade which worked for about 10 minutes until he got over excited and kept trying to wreck the pool games and run down the bowling alley. So we had to leave. Meltdown time.
His big sister was so upset at being kicked in the legs and was really embarrassed by the whole thing. I got scratched a lot. We lost the shoes along the way, and found them again. He had a fireman's lift and was wrestled into the car, still screaming and scratching.
I know the triggers are there. I know he finds some things hard, and in retrospect we should've avoided the arcade as it was too much stimulation for him. But I just get tired with the struggle we have at the end of every nice family outing because he doesn't want to leave or it all gets too much.
On New Year's Day it happened when we went to the beach. He was lovely for a while and then started causing problems by pushing other people's dogs and we had to leave. Meltdown time.
I guess I'm still getting to grips with his autism, and I don't really understand how his brain works. But it's so frustrating. We have a lovely time and it always ends in tears.
